A Brief Selection of Assorted Ravings
Some more entertainment.
In a comment under my last post, I shared with you one of the delightful ‘perks’ which come as a part of ‘the-deal’ – for battling a corrupt, entrenched oligarchy. No such benefits as a pension provision, company car, health insurance or other such mundane extras accrue as a reward for fighting to expose decades of concealed appalling child abuse.
No – instead my reward is the occasional comedic ‘green-ink’ abuse which arrives from the paeds, the civil servants supporting the paeds, and spotty, trustafarian nephews of the paeds – who sit in sad, masturbatory isolation before their computer screens wondering how long it will be before the family trait grips them.
The entertainment value of these things is wonderful. Unintentional comedy somehow always seems so much more funny than the contrived variety. Some of you may be familiar with the Guardian column of Simon Hoggart. Readers send him copies of those appalling smug and self-regarding ‘family messages’ which some are wont to send to everyone they know around Christmas time – informing them of Leticia’s splendid A-level results and how Darius is doing marvellously at the pony club. Each year Hoggart publishes a selection of some choice passages – and both wondrous and bizarre is the solipsism on display.
The thought occurs to me that I will copy Hoggart’s approach – and every Christmas publish a selection of the various bits of obnoxia which arrive in the course of a year.
But as a teaser for this forthcoming attraction, here are few examples to whet your appetite. I have asterisked the – err – more forthright phrases, but apart from that the selected, Wildean sentences reproduced here are as I received them.
“save (sic) us all the moaning and just hurry up and commit suicide – or get yourself committed you sad little twat!
You wont (sic) be missed.”
My correspondent goes on:
“YOU ARE A TWAT!!!”.
Another, in what one would have to concede, displays a certain economic elegance, simply writes
Though, again, the absence of capitalisation tends to let down this submission.
Really quite splendid, though, is the following epistle:
“YOU ARE A C**T STUART SYVRET PLAIN AND SIMPLE AND A F**KING LIAR AND A COKEHEAD YOU LITTLE PRICK I HOP (sic) YOU DIE”
Not quite perfect, as the absence of the obligatory three exclamation marks lets it down a little. But the full-on, shrieking capitalisation certainly meets the expected standard.
I must check if it’s possible to place a font-colour selection feature in the comments box. I accept that the full, artistic urges of my correspondents are hampered somewhat by not being able to select a green font colour for their belles-letres.
So that’s a selection of my correspondence from the paeds, the child-batterers, abuse-concealers and their various supporters. None, though, I feel, is quite up-there with the piece of obnoxia received by Rod Liddle, when he was Editor for BBC Radio 4’s Today program. One of the very few mementos he took with him when leaving the job was an envelope upon which was scrawled the simple address: “Liddle, Zionist Fascist Jewboy, the BBC”.
Such are the joys of public life.